1. |
INTRO
00:38
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WHEN THE TURDS OF THE FEW OUTWEIGH THE TURDS OF THE MANY, ONLY ONE BAND CAN CHANGE THE TURD SCALE, AND THEY'LL SHIT IN THE FACES OF ANYONE WHO STANDS IN THEIR WAY. IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO TURD EATER, I'LL CUT YOUR HEAD OFF.
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2. |
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I LOST MY PECKER IN A BUCKET OF GOOP, I'M TELLING YOU CUZ I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, SINCE I LOST MY PECKER IN A BUCKET OF GOOP, STANDING AT A PARTY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I SAW A BUCKET AT THE EDGE OF THE ROOM, UNDER A BLANKET AND COVERED IN HAIR, THOUGHT I'D GET A LAUGH IF I PUT IT IN THERE, BUT I HAD HAD A COUPLE DRINKS AND SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO STOP ME NOT THAT I DON'T TAKE PARTIAL RESPONSIBILITY, BUT I'D GIVE ALMOST ANYTHING TO TAKE A NORMAL PISS AGAIN, I DON'T WANNA HURT EVERY TIME I SQUIRT, IT DIDN'T HURT AND NOBODY LAUGHED, THAT'S WHEN SOMEBODY THREW ME OUT ON MY ASS, WENT TO TAKE A LEAK CUZ I WAS FULL OF BEER, REACHED FOR MY PECKER and MY PECKER WASN'T THERE, BUT MY BLADDER WAS FILLING UP, PISS LEAKING FROM MY BELLY BUTTON, ABDOMEN SWELLING LIKE A SPONGE, IF I COULD FIND SOME MORE GOOP THAT I COULD RUB ON TO GROW IT BACK I'D DO WHATEVER I COULD
TO GET MY GODDAMN GRUBBY MITTS ON IT
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3. |
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WHEN YOUR DADDY TAKES YOUR XBOX AND YOU'RE TELLING HIM TO KICK ROCKS, I BET YOUR GLAD HE DIDN'T TAKE YOUR KILL YOUR PARENTS SIMULATOR, YOU GET BERATED BY YOUR MOTHER BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T CLEAN THE GUTTER, BUT YOU CAN GET HER BACK LATER IN KILL YOUR PARENTS SIMULATOR, TURN ON YOUR COMPUTER WIPE YOUR TEARS AWAY, YOU WON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THEM SOME DAY, YOU CAN DO IT FAST YOU CAN DO IT SLOW, PICK YOUR FAVORITE WEAPONS AND LOCK AND LOAD,
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4. |
SHIT SANDWICH
01:36
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I SAW MY BABY DOING SOMETHING ICKY, I SAW SOMETHING I WISH I DIDN'T SEE. A BIG BROWN LOG IN TWO PIECES OF TOAST AND WHEN MY BABY TOOK A BITE IT WAS FUCKING GROSS, AND I KNOW I'M NOT TO BLAME FOR THE SHIT SANDWICH RUNNING DOWN HER FACE, SHE DIDN'T NOTICE I WAS STANDING BEHIND WHEN I WATCHED HER WORK ON HER ASSEMBLY LINE, ONE PART SHIT AND ONE PART MAYO, I COULDN'T KISS HER FOR THE REST OF THE DAY-O. SHE SENT ME OUT FOR PACK OF SMOKES BUT I FORGOT MY KEYS, I WAS REPULSED MY LOVE MUFFIN BUT I TURNED BACK AROUND LIKE IDIDN'T SEE NOTHING, AND I HOPE SHE DIDN'T SEE HOW HER SHIT SANDWICH DISGUSTED ME, THIS WASN'T THE FIRST TIME I'D WITNESSED HER DOING SOMETHING BAD, THE SECOND WORSE THING WAS A NOTCH OR TWO LOWER, THIS HAD ME WONDERING IF I STILL KNOW HER.
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5. |
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LOOKING IN THE FRIDGE JUST TO FIND SOMETHING TO EAT, I DON'T SEE IT ANYWHERE BUT I'M CRAVING CHEESE, PICKED SOME UP AT SOME POINT I COULD HAVE SWORN, I FOUND THAT SHIT AT THE BACK OF THE BOTTOM DRAWER, I GOT SOME CHEESE THAT'S GONNA GO BAD SOON, AT LEAST NOW I KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA EAT. GRILLED CHEESE AND QUESADILLAS FOR A WEEK, THERE'S A PART ON ONE SIDE THAT GOT DRIED OUT, I JUST CUT THAT PIECE OFF AND THREW IT OUT, EATING GOOD LIKE I KNOW I SHOULD I'D EAT IT EVERY DAY IF I THOUGHT I COULD. NOTHING'S BETTER THAN A NICE SHARP CHEDDAR AND EATING MOZZARELLA WITH EDDIE VEDDER, I LIKE TO WINE AND DINE AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY BUT I HOPE YOU'RE BRINGING BRIE IF YOU WANNA 69. CREAM, CURD,
CRUMBLED, SLICED, OR SOLID, I'LL EAT ANY KIND THAT ISN'T COTTAGE,
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6. |
CHUG MY PISS
02:04
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*"YOU KNOW WHAT A SHIT-BAROMETER IS BUBS? MEASURES THE SHIT-PRESSURE IN THE AIR, WHEN THE SHIT-BAROMETER RISES YOU CAN FEEL IT TOO,"* I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE TO ME WHAT YOU'RE ALL ABOUT NOW, I CAN TELL WHAT YOU TRY TO SELL ISN'T WHAT YOU SAY NOW, I CAN SEE SO CLEARLY I FEEL LIKE SHIT NOW, I CAN SEE SO CLEARLY I'M THROUGH WITH IT NOW, FUCKED UP FUCK-UPS AND I'M FED UP, SO GET IN LINE I'LL FILL YOUR CUP, THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE ABOVE ALL THIS, NOW ALL YOU BOZOS CAN CHUG MY PISS, YOU SIT THERE PRETEND THAT YOU CARE, THEN YOU KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN, YOU DON'T WANNA BE ONE TO MAKE ENEMIES BUT YOU MADE ONE OF ME NOW, YOU'RE NOT WHAT, WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE WHAT I MADE MYSELF THINK, YOU GOT A LOT TO SAY ABOUT EVERYBODY ELSE LIKE YOUR SHIT DON'T STINK, IT'S TIME YOU DUMB-DUMBS LEARN IT ALL, LAYING FACE DOWN IN A URINAL, SOME PART OF YOU KNOWS YOU NEED THIS, ALL YOU BOZOS CAN CHUG MY PISS, I GOTTA GET OUT FROM THE BIG SHIT-CANO COMING FROM YOUR BIG FAT FUCKING MOUTH, YOUR STUPID GODDAMN MOUTH, I THINK YOU'VE EARNED YOURSELF SOME PAIN, I'LL PISS IN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY IT RAINED, HELD YOU AT A HIGHER BAR THAN THIS, NOW ALL YOU BOZOS CHUG MY PISS, *''YOUR EARS WILL IMPLODE FROM THE SHIT-PRESSURE."*
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7. |
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I'M WAITING FOR YOU TO STOP TALKING SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT ME, BLAH BLAH BLAH PAY ATTENTION TO ME, I'M THIS WAY BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY, SOMETIMES I WANNA BE NICER GUY, BUT I DON'T THINK I'M EVER GONNA TAKE THAT ROLE CUZ EVERYBODY THINKS THAT I'M AN ASHOLE, IF YOU'RE WALKING MY WAY I'LL BLOW SMOKE IN YOUR FACE, AT A SHOW SEE A BAND THEN I'LL TALK SHIT ABOUT THEM, DON'T LIKE TO SEE YOU HAVE FUN, CAN'T CONNECT TO ANYONE, DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU DO CUZ I THINK I'M BETTER THAN YOU, IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, LISTEN UP CUZ I GOT NEWS FOR YOU, I'M SPEAKING TRUTH SO DON'T GIVE ME NO HASSLE, EVERYBODY THINKS THAT I'M AN ASSHOLE, TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE BAND I'LL TELL YOU WHY THEY'RE BAD, YOU THINK SOMETHING'S FUNNY NOW I'LL RUN IT INTO THE GROUND, I DON'T FILTER WHAT I SAY WOULDN'T NEED TO ANYWAY, DON'T SHOW ANYONE RESPECT LAUGH AT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK, CUZ I'M A LOSER, SHITTY PICK-AND-CHOOSER AND I'M TOO STUBBORN TO ADMIT, THAT I'M A USER, TRY-HARD, AND LOSER AND MY BEDROOM SMELLS LIKE SHIT, AND I DON'T LIKE TO CALL MY FRIENDS OR FAMILY, ME LASHING OUT AT YOU AINT NO AN-AMOLY, FROM THE NILE DOWN TO WHITE CASTLE, EVERYBODY THINKS THAT I'M AN ASSHOLE
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8. |
READY TO DIE
01:27
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I WAS BORN ON A WEDNESDAY, THE WORST DAY OF THE WEEK, I DON'T DO ANYTHING, BUT GET HIGH, WORK, AND SLEEP. DON'T TELL ME NOT TO LIVE THAT WAY, I DON'T WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT NOTHING TO SAY. DON'T WANNA DO A THING AND I KNOW WHY. MY ROOM IS A FUCKSTY, AND MY JOB IS A CHORE, AND I DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE THAT I'M LIVING FOR. 3PM IS WHEN I ROLL OUT OF BED, GOTTA ROAST ONE TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD, EAT SHIT FLAKES EVERY LUNCH, MOM THINKS I'M THE WORST OF THE BUNCH, MY GIRLFRIEND THINKS I'M A JERK, I EAT HER CHIPS WHILE SHE'S AT WORK. I DON'T WANNA DO A THING AND I KNOW WHY, CUZ I'M READY TO DIE. I HAD SOME GOOD TIMES, NOT AS MUCH AS THE BAD, SO IF YOU SEE ME AROUND, PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD. GOT NO FRIENDS AND MY PETS RAN AWAY, I SMOKE ALL NIGHT AND I SLEEP ALL DAY, STOPPED SKATING AND GOING TO SHOWS, IF I LEFT FOREVER NO ONE WOULD NOTICE, LIFE'S SHORT, FILLED WITH STUFF, THERE'S A LOT I HAVEN'T SEEN BUT I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I DON'T WANNA DO A THING AND I KNOW WHY, CUZ I'M READY TO DIE.
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9. |
MEDIA PERSON
00:41
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THIS IS A RUDIMENTARY PENI SONG. GOOGLE THE LYRICS AND LISTEN TO ''THE EPS OF RP."
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